We were getting all ready to end this perfectly shitty news day by sharing photos of the new panda babies at the National Zoo, but even that story went all to hell this afternoon, with the death of one of the two cubs. Which honestly isn’t that much of a surprise, since giant pandas are extremely difficult to breed in captivity (but at least we’re getting better at it). Forget pandas. They’re adorable idiots who don’t evolution good. At least not when there’s a bunch of territory-hungry hominids in the neighborhood.
Instead, let’s all just take a mental break with National #Dog Day, because dogs are awesome. You know this. They may not be all that bright at times, but that’s at least partly because we’ve selectively bred them to be lovable doofuses in arrested puppyhood.
Yr Dok Zoom is currently petless, but used to have a Labrador retriever named Paxil, because he was an excellent antidepressant. Note: Do not name your dog after a prescription medication unless you really don’t mind wandering around yelling “Paxil! Paxil!” when the big dope turns out to be an escape artist. No photo, because Paxie was a pre-digital-camera doggie.
Kaili is more of a cat person, and that is good, too. Here is Leonidas, an honorary dog for the day (and there go our commenters, straight into internecine warfare).
Also, remember when the Obamas got a second dog, Sunny, just to rub Americans’ faces in the fact that the Obamas think they’re better than all you one-dog families? GRAARRRRGHHH! Just like Louie Cat-whores and Marie Antoinette!
So, yes. Dogs. Give us your dogs, and also too your favorite dogs that are not yours, in the comments, which are temporarily allowed, but JUST FOR THIS ONE POST! We need some dogs about now.
Read the whole story at: http://wonkette.com/593344/its-national-dog-day-pretty-sure-we-could-all-use-some-doggies-about-now
Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
Yay Alpha Dog! As far as our buddy in Kentucky who’s so good at the getting married thing: Next stop, full 6th. Next stop after that, Supreme Court. Next stop after that, unemployment benefits.